Three's A Crowd

Friday Gratitude List.

1. For freedom. Happy 4th of July!

2. For a week of reflection & rest. I have so much to share with you!

Blog Break.

I'm taking a week-long blog break. In fact, I'm taking a week-long computer break. Call it a technology fast. We've had some major changes in the past 6 months: birth of twins, selling our house, buying a new one. The stress is catching up to me. I need to bury my nose in a book, run on the sand, feel the sun on my shoulders, eat lots of veggies. I know how to make myself better. I just need to go do it. Will you be here when I return? I hope so. I will miss you. Until then, here's a piece of the prayer I'm praying ( said to be a favorite of Mother Teresa) :

"Dear Jesus, Help me spread Your fragrance wherever I go. Flood my soul with Your Spirit and Life. Penetrate and possess my being so utterly that my life may only be a radiance of Yours."

---Radiating Christ; by Venerable John Henry Cardinal Newman.

Friday Gratitude List

1. For my sister and her children--James loved spending a week with them in the great city of Chicago. Here he is admiring the view atop The Hancock Building with one of his cousins.

2. For James returning home safely.

3. For new books to read and new thoughts to think.

4. For this quote from "Abide in Christ" by Andrew Murray:

“Abiding in Christ is not the doing of some great thing, and does not demand that we first live a very holy and devoted life. No, it is simply weakness entrusting itself to a Mighty One to be kept,--the unfaithful one casting self on One who is altogether trustworthy and true. Abiding in Him is not a work that we have to do as the condition for enjoying His salvation…our part is simply to yield, to trust and to wait for what He has engaged to perform.”

5. For Jewel who loves Silly Songs with Larry, especially "Oh, Where Is My Hairbrush?" Oh wheeeerrre is my hairbrush, oh where, oh where.....?

Have a beautiful, lovely, restful, blessed, happy, joyous, summery, sunshiney weekend!

Selling A Home Is Like A Tooth Extraction. Without Novacaine.

It's a buyer's market. This is short-hand for: buyers are in control. Which means that although they are supposed to give me an hour's notice, they stand outside my house, call me from their cell phone and say, "Hi, can I come in right now?"

I've had people walk through my house while I'm breastfeeding, my boys are in the tub and another child is napping.

I've had people yell at me while I'm loading kids, diaper bags and strollers into the minivan: "HEY, ARE YOU SELLING YOUR HOUSE?"

That's what the For Sale sign means, genius. But I don't say this because I'm the nice Christian mom who hands out the flyer instead and says sweetly, "Please come to our Open House this Saturday."

They don't want to wait until Saturday. They want to come in right now, and not because they intend to buy our home, but just because they like looking inside other people's houses. For fun.

I've answered every question at least two hundred times. Yes, there are 3 bedrooms and no, we're not sure if we're done having kids yet. Why yes, these are twins. No, fraternal.

Two different people asked if I'm famous. WHAT? Yeah, I'm a famous movie star living in a 3 bedroom home with no yard and five kids. Isn't this how Angelina Jolie lives?

I had a complete stranger walk out of my bathroom---with my toilet flushing behind him. It seems he couldn't write an offer before testing whether his waste would flush down my toilet.

I had a suspiciously touristy woman snap pictures of me, the kids, our walls, our photographs, our bedrooms--without permission. Has she uploaded these onto her blog? I can just see it: Check out these pics from my CA. vacation!!! Anyone recognize that woman? She claims she's not famous--who is she, really?

Another "potential buyer" wanted a list of everything that was staying. This fridge? Is it staying? How about these things? Are they staying? She didn't want to buy my house, she just wanted everything inside it.

A friend commented that buyers aren't looking for a house to buy so much as they are looking for a narrative to buy. Which is to say, when someone walks into my house they are reading my story. They want to know if it has a happy ending, if this house can be a home, if true love exists between these walls. They want to see how I live in this space, how I decorate, how the children fit into their rooms.

Ultimately, though, we had to be realistic. We were patient, we dropped our price (more than once) and promised to fix all the little stuff for our buyer.

I really can't complain. The housing market is in a downturn, but Southern California is still a very desirable place to live. There's a reason so many people live here.

Still, that guy could have asked permission to use my toilet. I would have said yes. Maybe.

Summer Beach Reading Recommendations.

It's the first week of summer and SoCal is gorgeous. We entirely skipped the usual "June gloom" and fast-forwarded to sunny skies and warm water. Sweeeeet! It's time to hit our favorite beach spots.

While the children play in the water I stand at water's edge and supervise. If they're lucky, I'll get in with them. Today I had a sitter watch the twins while I took Jewel & Jude to Newport Beach. James is in Chicago paying a long awaited visit to his auntie and cousins. Wow. Keeping track of two kids instead of five is easy as pie. I even got to read a book for a little bit.

Nothing like a little light reading, huh? Us English majors never really enjoy Danielle Steele, y'know. Protocal Matters by Sandra Boswell is a practical how-to on manners and social graces. I'm really inspired (and convicted!) by her many wonderful ideas. She's the modern Emily Post. Right now the children are working on proper phone etiquette. Jewel is especially helpful in answering calls when I am busy with the babies.

Of course, we are kicking off the summer with our 3rd Annual Scripture Memorization-A-Thon. Last year we memorized I John 5:1-15. We recited it to Matt near his birthday. It was a lot of fun (really!) because we made it fun! This year we're working on selected verses from Proverbs. Each morning we have our little Devotional Time. The kids bring out papers, pens and crayons and we spread out on the floor together. We sing songs (sometimes riotously) and memorize the verses using lots of expression. I also spend time reading long passages of Scripture to them while they draw pictures. We end our time with prayer, each child offering up their own simple requests.

I read aloud to them from a long, challenging book each summer. Last year it was The Wind in The Willows. This year, I was thrilled to re-discover a childhood favorite A Door In the Wall by Marguerite de Angeli.

It's not a popular book anymore probably because it doesn't include wizards killing other wizards. (No, my children have not and will not read Harry Potter). But, like Wind in the Willows, the character development of the main characters is brilliant. Also, we take lots of time to pause in our reading to define terms, look up relevant historical facts and answer questions.

I try to balance the "heavy reading" with lighter, fluff reading, too. Jewel is reading Junie B. Jones aloud to Jude. James has several Star Wars chapter books he's reading.

As an addtional supplement to their reading, I've thrown in a Latin workbook complete with CD: Song School Latin by Amy Rehn. We listen to the songs in the car. I am their magistra (teacher) and they are my discipuli (students)!

Dude, should I be homeschooling OR WHAT? :0)

As for me, my summer book list includes the following:

1. "Rediscovering Catechism" by Donald Van Dyken.
2. "Abide in Christ" by Andrew Murray.
3. "To A Thousand Generations--infant baptism" by Douglas Wilson

I know, I know. Does she ever read "fun stuff" you're wondering? I do. My reading candy is The Week magazine. It's a news magazine organized into bite size chunks from multiple news outlets. Yes, it's a news magazine. No, I don't read fashion or gossip. Except on airplanes (it's the only way I can wrench my brain away from the fact that OH MY GOSH WE'RE 30,000 FEET IN THE AIR AND IF WE FALL WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIIIIIEEEEE!).

And lastly, because I know you're wondering: how does she find time for it?

Answer: I very rarely watch TV.

So, what are you reading this summer? Any good fiction recommendations?

Constipated Baby.

Since my milk supply vanished last week, Jorai has developed a terrible diaper rash and constipation. I nursed the babies for the last time last Sunday and did so with tears. I simply couldn't accept that this might be the very last time I breastfeed babies? I sat there watching and soaking in every last moment of them at my breast.

Am I weird? Tell me I'm not alone in this.

I've tried water in the bottle, diluted 100% apple juice and given her extra formula bottles, but Jorai is still constipated. I was using Desitin, but this did nothing for her rash. I switched to A+D and this seems to be helping.

Any tips or ideas for helping Jorai poop? I'm open for any and all--even strange ones. I need your help because I don't think I'll get a call back from the doctor on the weekend.

Edited to add: 12:44pm, Monday. Jorai pooped! The consistency is still dry, but not as bad. I am continuing with prunes and extra water. I have discontinued rice cereal for the time being. I do think apple juice may have caused a yeasty, diaper rash. No more apple juice for now. Diaper rash is remarkably better! You guys are awesome.

Friday Gratitude List

1. For baby smiles: they smile for every reason or for no reason at all. They just smile. I want to practice this kind of unfettered delight.

2. For friends nearby, for friends afar, for blog friends, for being in this together. Thank you.

3. For learning so many hymns as a child. I wasn't always grateful for this. But now, it is a treasure chest of hope to me.

4. For Jesus, my Friend, my Brother, my Savior.

5. For love lifting me up.

My foot slippeth...

"thy mercy, O Lord, held me up." Psalm 94:18

This morning I awoke and intentionally began singing. I blasted through a handful of contemporary worship songs, "Blessed Be Your Name" & "Everything that has breath praise the Lord" and then moved on to some older, richer hymns that I learned as a child. The one that is sticking with me right now is: "Love lifted me."

There is spiritual nourishment in singing praise songs. And there is physical nourishment in a good night's sleep + a grande vanilla Latte. I highly recommend both.

Matt graciously gave me the night off and I slept like a log. There is nothing like sleep deprivation to fell the strongest among us. The stress of selling our home, the twins' bad reaction to their six month shots, a whopping $5,000 hospital bill (just for the twins' RSV shots--not even their NICU bills), my milk supply plummeting like a rock and you have one very tired, exhausted, overwhelmed momma.

I hesitated in posting about my struggle this week. It takes some courage to admit that hey, my life isn't perfect. Hi, my name is Elizabeth and I'm a recovering perfectionist. But then someone emailed me this week and said, "We all walk this earth with the broken heart." Exactly. Another friend emailed me saying, (paraphrase) "Sleep deprivation doesn't respect how many plates we're juggling. Whether it's 3 or 12, we all drop plates and feel terrible about it." Others of you emailed me verses, kind words, encouraging thoughts. That's when I realized: It's OK to be honest about struggling with this unwieldy beast called motherhood because I'm not alone. Most of you are women and mothers and you GET IT.

There is good news, too. There is light at the end of this tunnel. We found a buyer for our home! YAY! Keeping my house clean & tidied for anyone to drop in at any time (literally! this is a WHOLE other post) just about killed me. It's over now. We're through the worst of it.

So, it's on to the next task: I have to move in 30 days! Help me, Rhonda. Help, help me Rhonda.

humbled by your love.

No, nobody died. I feel sheepish admitting that I'm just under a lot of stress right now. I feel sheepish because the outpouring of love I've received in the past 24 hours--via email, comments, phone calls and random visits humbles me beyond words. That people I've never met actually care simply because something I wrote in the past two years blessed them---this amazes me. That friends I know in "real life" who read my blog have reached out to me with open arms--this amazes me. I am humbled. I am grateful. And, I'm OK. I will have a hilarious/crazy story to share with you tomorrow. For now, I need rest. He gives his beloved sleep.

He Shall Cover Thee...

12:24 pm I would like to say that I opened my eyes this morning and said, "Joy cometh in the morning!"

But that would be dishonest. I opened my eyes and said, "Another day." I swallowed the lump in my throat and said, "Thank you, Lord, for another day."

I am fighting this the only way I know how: reaching for my Bible, grasping, panting for His Word to lift my spirit. And I find these words, "He shall cover thee with His feathers, and under His wings shalt thou trust." Ps. 91:4

Those words were part of today's reading in my NLT Bible. June 18. Psalm 91. He meets me right here, right now. He is real.

I looked it up in my KJV and wrote the words down. Sometimes only the KJV will do. I put the words in my pocket. He shall cover thee. He shall cover thee.

I sang these words to the babies while I changed them. I repeated them as I washed the breakfast dishes. I will say these words all day until my mind ceases it's doubting. I will not sink down, I will not be swallowed by sadness. I will pray these words, breathe these words, sing these words until I am walking again, dancing again, laughing again.

Perhaps soon I can tell you why this is happening. But for now, my lips can only speak this: He shall cover thee.

He shall cover me.